Hash 102 saw the Shiggyduster’s return to Naramata after a yearlong absence. This time Snatchshot was helped in her virgin lay by Long N Hard and Lumpy (JustCole). After some confusion over what number hash we were on chalk talk began. Envelopes were handed out and the hares were on their way.

The pack soon set on in pursuit. Two back checks were quickly found, but it took some time to find the trail since Blowflex, in typical FRB fashion missed the mark. Philthy finally got the pack back on track. The trail began a steep climb on a hill face. Dogsnatcher, despite her acrophobia, managed to navigate the trail with some encouragement from Hard To Swallow.

The trail passed through an orchard and soon came to a bridge. There the pack had a moment of silence in honour of Lumpy getting his lumps.

The next stop on the trail was an idyllic, contemplative, Christian run campground. Children bucolically frolicked. The pack was instructed via envelope to sing a song of Rabelaisian wit. They tried to sing quietly; it was hard to do after CumQuad informed the pack of Blowflex’s preferred method of sexual congress. (on top).

The pack quickly vacated the premises, before they could be kicked out. After meandering through Naramata’s side streets, the trail vanished near the schoolyard. In true FRB fashion CumQuad had blown past the mark. Once again Philty got the pack back on trail. It was all for naught as CumQuad blew by yet another mark. This time Hard To Swallow found the flour placed conveniently at his eye level.

The trail soon led to the Naramata pub.For some inexplicable reason the Aussie of the group didn’t recognize it by smell alone. Indeed he was even heard to ask “Where’s the pub?” as he leaned against the structure. Inside the group had to say their names and sing a song for their beer, a nice jug of Naramata nut brown.

With belly’s full of beer the pack soon began to climb, and climb. They took some pictures, and continued climbing. After some more climbing they soon found themselves (and the hares) at a peaceful beer check.

The hares now joined the pack (after much picture taking) for the descent. After some twists and turns the pack came to a winery. Most of the pack stayed to taste and buy some wine (thanks to Dogsnatcher for extending credit). Meanwhile Goatbag and Hard To Swallow ventured on and climbed a hillock for the hell of it.

The trail now came to the home stretch. The FRBs zoomed their way home along the lake shore. Those who hung back were rewarded with the view of three eagles fighting over a fish. Finally everyone circled up.

Down downs were awarded to:

The hares for a multifaceted trail. Kudos for an excellent virgin lay.

JustNadine for her virgin hash.

Blowflex for missing marks.

CumQuad for missing the pub.

Philthy for missing a hasher’s name.

Hard To Swallow for giving the beer a miss.

Dongsnatcher for her missing “On Ons”

And Goatbag just because there was a beer left.

Next Hash is the Ironhash. CumQuad and Philthy will hare. Starting time is 12 Noon.

The title of the hash is a lyric. Bonus marks to anyone who can name the band, album and song. No google.

Hash 98 welcomed co-hares (Long & Hard and Insatiable). We assembled in front of Uplands School under the full force of the Okanagan sun for what turned out to be a puzzling affair. Stinky and Spermy were late (but what’s new) and justViki was having hash-flash technical issues and so it was well past the hour before the devious hares took off. They left behind a pile of numbered envelopes full of square bits…..puzzling in itself!

The chasing pack (Philthy, Stinky, Spermy, Abysmal, Dog Snatcher, justViki, justLeslie, justNick, justCarie, and justKata) waited 8 minutes and then were in hot pursuit.

After a few on-ons and a couple of checks we found ourselves at the junction of the KVR and Vancouver Hill where we found a flour circle with the ‘1’. And, so envelope #1 was opened to reveal scrabble pieces…. PULL UR MAKUA. Many heads were scratched as we searched for a clue or a theme. Philthy was lost without Google. Just Nick was more interested in spreading his legs for a photo op. and Stinky had gone off to scout out the next mark. And, so it was Spermy and Dog Snatcher who eventually solved the puzzle – yes we were looking for the birth place of hashing ….Kuala Lumpur!

We were confident now and hurried off with the help of Stinky’s advanced scouting…..we were quickly lost! By now the hares were probably sunning themselves on the beach.

With our new found scrabble skills and reluctance to follow Stinky we were moving along quite quickly and the route took us towards Long & Hard’s house. It was a perfect spot for a beer check and when we realized it was just Beer Check #1 we were pretty excited about what lay ahead. But, for now we’d live in the moment and enjoy a cold beer, the shade and the pond. Philthy solved the scrabble puzzle and won some sex on the beach (it’s a drink!).

Half an hour later it was On-On and we were through an orchard and down the steps onto Forestbrook Dr. We struggled with the rest of the hash missing the next prize (another shot) and the next one….sigh! We were consoled by the sight of bikini clad hares at the next beer check. justNick got so excited he pulled down his shorts and mooned the hares and half of Alberta who were sat on Philthy’s beach.

Beer Check #2 proved to be the end and so we circled up on Philthy’s patio…..

Down-Downs:

The devious hares for not being able to spell hashing.

Stinky for getting us lost

justViki for trying to turn the hash into a camera club.

justKata for being a virgin

Abysmal for being a visiting hasher.

Foot note: Insatiable was renamed BLOW FLEX (and not Shut the F*ck Up)

Scribed by Philthy (On bloody On)