It had seemed like only days had passed from the horror of ‘Hashing for a Hor’, and it was. For this was a special occasion ‘Full Moon’ hash! The usual requirements were followed, ensure it is dark and cold and windy… perfection! Hard2Swallow was our hare and we gathered behind PCR for some very quick instructions/hash-hare blessing and then after a shot of Fireball for medicinal purposes the hare was off. The pack wandered indoors to check out any specials on shoes. Well, all except Shunty who thought he would be incognito in the dark till we decided to turn on the lights and lo and behold, the Shunt had donned a brand new pair of shoes! Oohs and ahs were made as we inspected them conjuring up suitable future punishments for this misdeed.

Finally venturing out into the bitter cold the pack, consisting of JustJason, Shunty, MoanerLisa and Goatbag headed up the alleyway, the moon not really wanting to show itself amidst the clouds. We wound around a few blocks before heading in a general direction right past Mudhoney’s place. I use the name Mudhoney even though virtually everyone in the pack (and perhaps some vagrants) called her Rowena! As we’d been out in the elements for at least five minutes it was decided to visit whateverhername was. We serenaded her with a lovely round of ‘Why was she born so beautiful’ and then dashed off before we were tempted in with promises of beer, food and heat. Now we entered a hilly section compromised with shig. In the daytime this is tricky enough but our hare was a fiend and short enough to miss all the branches that smacked us in the face. He led us out onto the Esplanade trail and downward towards the abode of Philthy. Again, since it had been at least ten minutes since we’d been warm we decided to see if Mr. Hummer was home. The smell of curry issued out from behind his door and we quickly stampeded in. Beer and curry was quickly doled out and having decided that we’d taken all we could and that Philthy wasn’t going to join us, we carried on along Lakeshore Drive.

After yet another back-check we picked up speed and turned past the Sicamous into the Rose Garden. There the marks became puzzling, looking as if they headed into a shrubbery. Moaner headed off around the far side and down the channel while the rest of the pack decided to wait with the hare, who was patiently sitting in the fountain with the beer. Apparently, she hadn’t succumbed to his promises of cold beer as she dashed by. The misfortunate hare had run out of flour and decided to sit it out amongst the rocks with his cache of beer. It turns out that despite our planned pitstops we were only about 10 minutes behind! Now refreshed the group headed back to the start and circled up inside PCR.

Downdowns were issued to:

The Hare – For making us run in such foul weather, poor lighting, tricky footing, back-checks, and running out of flour!
Shunty – New Shoes! (Due to being inside we wisely decided to have him drink out of a cup)
JustJason – For losing part of his valuable lighting display, which can save your life in a town of Senior drivers. (Shunty produced the offending evidence)
Moaner Lisa/Goatbag – For getting carried away and sprinting down Lakeshore, doing the calls mainly to themselves because of their greatness.
Virtually everyone except Goatbag – Calling Mudhoney by her non-hasher name.

On-On!

We’d been whining and moaning about a Full Moon hash for a few months now without anyone actually doing anything about it.  Having just barely missed the last one by a few days, Philthy leapt to the rescue and designed one to occur on Guy Hawkes Night.  Guy was the unfortunate individual who tried to blow up British Parliament, was caught and summarily executed, forever memorialized with bonfires and fireworks.  Sounds like a perfect hasher!  So we’d had the time change and it was dark by the time we met at 6.  We jokingly offered Philthy a 2 minute head start and he agreed.  Such boldness!  We should have realized he was up to no good and had placed the first of two hymn checks right around the corner right beside Goatbag’s hymn check of last week.  After badly mangling ‘Disco Inferno’ if such a thing is possible, the pack headed south, picking up Spermie along the way.  Through quiet neighbourhoods (quiet as it was dark, cold and windy!) we picked our way through the darkness.  Up a set of stairs led to a face-off with a deer.  Tragedy averted, we came upon the second hymn check.  The song turned out to be an ode to Moaner Lisa who lived there but was out doing something other than drinking beer and running.  We fared a bit better at this one and noone got hit with ripe vegetables from the community garden.  Off to Vancouver hill we fled and some went up and some went down.  Some meandered in the middle and called ‘On-on’ but more on that later….   The right route was finally determined and we ended up at Philthy’s place for the Beer check.  Having a lovely beverage outside and enjoying the twinkling stars until a run clinic went past and we went off in hot pursuit waving Hasher business cards at them.  Eventually they left us in the dust and we ended back up at the start and circled up.

Down-downs were issued to the following:
Philthy – For holding such a shitty hash on an abominably cold night, plagarizing Goatbag-boy’s previous hymn-check, endangering the pack by placing wild deer at the tops of stairs, having us freeze outside on his patio at the beercheck… etc.
Spermbank – Showed up late for the hash (gasp)
Stinky – Bizarrely called on-on from the center of the pack and then looked all nonchalant when everyone turned about and charged at him.
Goatbag – The HashFlash had the wrong setting on the camera and the flash took about 20 seconds to fire,  resulting in much amusement.
Shunty – For achieving the status of utter perfection during a Hash.