A gruff “Hi there” and an extended hand greeted Bag Boy and the other hashers waiting in the sunshine outside the Copper Mug prior to Sunday’s run.  Not noticing the hash shirts they were wearing, Bag Boy figured they were probably a couple of friendly drunks that had emerged from the pub, and smiled politely in return.  However, when they didn’t go away, or start smoking – Bag Boy finally clued in from the hash apparel they were wearing that they were here for the run.  Introductions were made, and Delhi Belly and the Bone Ranger were welcomed to our hash.  

“Backwash sends her greetings from Ottawa” growled Delhi, “and where is that Just Terry fellow that came to visit us a few months ago?” he questioned in his raspy voice.  We let him know that Terry (now Quags) had moved on to join the Winnipeg Hash a while back, but that we would pass on the word.    The Bone Ranger let us know that he would be participating in today’s hash, but not joining us on the run…I can’t remember how exactly he put it, but he had a unique way of describing his inclusion without actually running.  He also offered to hare a run in Keremeos from his bar stool, apparently it would involve us running up the side of a mountain and back down while he stayed in the pub enjoyed a cold beverage….

The circle was called to order, and after we addressed all matters of import – Delhi Belly proceeded to lead us in blessing the hare and the beer – and Pole Jockey was on his way.  After only a few minutes of small talk, Delhi announced he was on his way to get the hare.   The rest of the pack joined in pursuit.

The CHALK marks (what happened to flour?) led us though the city, uphill into the industrial area, along Government Ave, and down the trail beside Ellis Creek.  The pack managed to stay together for the most part, but attempting to navigate the mid-block crossing of Main Street proved to be quite a challenge.  We decided we should wait for Delhi, but it turned out that the big-city boy had no problem crossing our “busy” street, and we were off again.    Passing a couple of blond haired ladies on the sidewalk, Delhi called back to them; “There’s beer at the end of the trail ladies!  Come with us!”  

“You gotta always be recruiting” he informed me.   ”Couple of pretty ladies like that; you gotta have a card ready in hand…BOOM!” he gestured with a chopping motion, as if presenting a card, “Come join us!” 

A few more turns followed by a long straight stretch led us towards the ball diamonds near the channel parkway…the pack was getting dehydrated,  hopefully beer was near!  Sure enough it was – a beer garden was in progress near the ball diamonds – what excellent planning by the hare!!!   We stood at the entrance to the beer garden looking for flour to lead us in, but to our dismay found none.  How could this be???  After another thorough search we eventually gave up our gardening hopes, and proceeded along the previous trail.  Thankfully, within a hundred meters we came across the welcome sign of BN!  However, the cries of “Beer Near” were kept to a minimum, as the BN check mark was beside a playground full of children and parents…

Another block of running, and we located the highly anticipated beer check.  We made short work of the cooler full of ice cold beer and were soon back on the trail…Delhi even chose to take some beer with him – “I can shuffle and drink – no problem!” he informed us as we headed off towards the parkway.  The marks led us straight out onto the highway; uncharted hash territory!  A passing motorist was kind enough to roll her window down to let us know we were crazy. We tried to give her the card like Delhi said, but she just spun away and left us eating dust.

The hare must have tired of the traffic noise and the extended side mirrors of passing motorhomes whizzing past his head, because after a half kilometre or so, the trail went over a chain link fence and back into some nice safe shig.  He wasn’t finished with us though; we had to follow another couple of kilometres of pink flour (okay, he did have some…just wasn’t using it much!) and yellow chalk marks before finding our way back to the On In at the Copper Mug. 

Bag Boy RA’d the circle ensuring that the hare was held to account for a truly shitty trail, and that retribution was made for the numerous misdemeanours and transgressions committed while chasing the hare – somehow Philthy and I even ended up with full mugs of down down beer instead of the usual half glass – perhaps arguing with the RA pays off!   Delhi Belly was also held to account in the circle, and entertained us with a few new songs, and numerous tales of hashing from around the world.  We look forward to hashing with Delhi Belly in the future – maybe next time he will drag a few members from the Capital City hash along with him!

Side Note – somehow we missed the celebration of Pole Jockey’s 21st run with the Shiggy Dusters during the circle.  Once we realized our mistake, a small group of us made our way to Pole Jockey’s residence with his token gift and shooter – then made him drink double for letting us forget his anniversary! 

Next run Sunday May 3^rd at 1:30 PM in the alley behind Peach City Runners.  Bag Boy promises to hare a hash through some amazingly shitty shiggy – the likes we have not yet seen!

On-On,

Shunty

On a reasonably sunny Sunday afternoon, the Shiggydusters gathered about the Copper Mug for another run.  HardtoSwallow was the hare and being in the peak of his marathoning fitness, assured us that five minutes would suffice for the chase.  The markings would be of white flour and pink chalk, and there was something we might go under… then again, we might go over.   The group promptly forgot to start a watch and around 7-8 minutes later started to amble off.  Heading northwesterly, Bagboy noticed a familiar runner behind, followed by another familiar runner with a dog.  Stinky and Spermbank had finally returned from a winter of snowboarding and skiing up in the mountains and decided that Spring and hashing had arrived.  Not to create the wrong impression, they showed up five minutes late as usual.

Winding our way down past the college and up behind Penticton Hyundai, Bagboy blew past the Beer Check, cunningly disguised as a board with bright pink chalk on it saying ‘Beer Check’.  How daring.  The beverages were passed out and everyone enjoyed the day, life was good.  We then crossed the trestle, and started out on the beginning of our shig, a lovely little trail that made it’s way up to the golf course bridge.  Over and up along the channel the trail suddenly pointed into the impenetrable bracken where only deer and birds roamed.  We had to make our way over/under the fence and then follow the flour marks into the deepening gloom.  This didn’t look good.  Forcing our way through the thorny branches, over logs, over swampy water…. to a Shiggyduster this was glorious!  Popping out intact on the other side, the route traversed an open field and then led to a steep embankment where HardtoSwallow obviously decided to engage in a hill work-out. Once again doing the over/under the fence we emerged on the KVR, able to view the surrounding countryside (which consisted of trees, fields, and Spermbank either trying to zen, or hopelessly lost).  

From here the pack quickly split apart, as the FRB’s tore up the trail, while the rest of the group wisely decided to pull thorns and cactus from their various body parts and make up lovely names for HardToSwallow.  At the West Bench Drive junction, the markings led downward and we were soon running along the river channel.  Hugo took a refreshing jump into the water (and no, Hugo is a dog, not a Hasher).  The end seemed near and sure enough, alongside the channel was a small parking lot, the scene of the finish of a previous Full Moon’s hash.  Beer was passed out.  Bagboy, as acting Religious Advisor issued the following down-down’s.

HardtoSwallow – For haring this most Shi$$y, shiggy run, with cacti, thorn bushes, mud, dirt, hills, etc. 
BagBoy – Missing two marks, including the Beer Check, and wearing his hat in the circle.
Philthy – Wearing short shorts. (He wears short shorts)
Philthy and Spermbank – Uttering non-hashing names while running.
Dickweasel – For displaying his extremely white chicken legs while running and attracting vultures to the pack.
Mudhoney – For her lack of drinking prowess at the Beer Check.
Stinky and Spermbank – For coming back to the pack after a season of skiing and for being early to a Hash (normally 10 minutes late)
Shunty – For being perfect.

It was Dickweasel’s 21st Hash, a mystical number for the Shiggydusters and he was given a shooter and a lovely parting gift. 

The next Hash will be this Sunday at 2 PM at the Copper Mug with Polejockey doing the haring honours.