In blistering heat and with a thunderstorm in the forecast 6 eagles, 3 turkeys, a dog, and the hare (Goat Bag) assembled behind PCR for hash #47.

We circled up and blessed the hare who did some flour talk and grabbed our attention when he gave out envelopes full of DQ coupons not to be opened until we got close to the ice cream establishment (or so we thought/hoped). And, then the hare was off with a 5 min head start.

The trail lacked shig, but reminded us all of the early days when hashers weaved through city streets and back lanes. Shouts of ‘on-on’ and ‘checking’ woke sleeping dogs and gave heart burn to families resting after a Sunday feast.

The hashers were making good time until the DQ symbol was discovered on the KVR just north of Eckhart….and nowhere near Dairy Queen. The Weasel opened the envelope to reveal a damn hymn sheet and wow not another Abba song: Dancing Queen!!! With beads of sweat making the song sheets soggy we flexed our vocal chords and the chords rang out……and disco finally died that day!

On On and we were off again heading south and then west. With perfect coordination we zenned and worked like a well oiled machine, distracted only by young ladies heading for the beach. And, the beach would have been a nice concellation prize in the absence of ice cream treats (a lake breeze instead of a blizzard), but the hare had other ideas and cruely the trail took us along a very boring Churchill St.

The beer check was our last hope and it was perfectly placed on a trail above Marina Way, where the turkeys joined us. And, there we stood complaining about the heat, while in a tree, above us, an osprey pecked at a salmon…..and if it wasn’t for the cold refreshing beer we would have gladly offered him the hare for desert.

It was just a short jog/sprint back to the on-in which took place under our favourite tree behind PCR. A tree which only a few weeks earlier had sheltered us from the pouring rain instead of the sun. There we circled up and Goatbag was movingly honoured by Shunty with an award for 21 consecutive hashes, even though he’d missed the big weekend hash!! But, it was hot, we were dehydrated and nobody really cared.

Down Downs:
Goatbag: Misleading the pack with the DQ coupon reference, having a hymn check without changing the words to hashing style.
HardToSwallow: Running ahead too quickly and solving all the checks giving poor Shunty no time to recover AND still wearing his race t-shirt despite past warnings.
Spermbank and Stinky: For showing up virtually on time, totally organized with floppy hats for the sun, scarfs etc. For shame.
JustShelie: For standing nonchalantly at a check without even pretending to tie up her shoe!
Dickweasel: For having some unidentifiable murky liquid in his beer mug during the run, thought to be beer, then it was noticed that he was slathering it on his skin like a lotion. Forever after this liquid shall be named ‘Beer Buzz’.
The Turkeys (Just Mickey, Just Mario and Spermbank): For having the audacity to publicly admit that they zenned part of the course. We wouldn’t have said anything as zenning is allowed but they said they cheated.
Philthy: Being far too happy as the HashFlash.
Shunty: Standing on far too many checks.

Philthy

It was with great trepidation that the Shiggydusters gathered at the junction of Arawana Road and the KVR this Sunday. Was it the searing heat and oppressive smoke from northern forest fires or was it the fact that we were almost on top of the mountain and about the only way we could go was down… or was it…. the fact that on our last hash in Naramata, great disaster befell Mudhoney and for the first time in Shiggyduster history the hare was caught.

Philthy was our hare this time and didn’t go out for a long bike ride that morning. It was a live hare he explained but only chalk. We raised our eyebrows realizing that if that were true we wouldn’t be back out here again till the snow covered up the marks. A special guest was attending, Shunty’s brother, JustSean, fresh from another sporting engagement that morning. He’d apparently lost his shoes and was the true hashing fashionplate in jaunty shorts and birkenstock sandals. By the time Filthy’s five minute head start was up the group had started talking about something else and had no idea which way he’d gone or even if five minutes had passed. Some things never change. Wisely we decided to head downhill as noone had the strength in this SEARING heat to go upwards. Not far on the downhill we saw a split for the Turkey/Eagle routes. Sadly this was the last we’d see of the turkeys who wandered around Lang Winery for an especially long time before giving up and going off for refreshments.

After a few mis-starts and JustSean’s close encounter of a bovine kind, the pack emerged onto Naramata Road, halfway between the start and the lake. A kinder, gentler hare would have let us meander along the gently undulating road before picking us up and whisking us off to the beach for beverages. Philthy’s path took us down one of those little twisty, turny roads that lead right past the on-after of Mudhoney’s expedition. This was Unfinished Business indeed! Past the various family members splashing at the beach, giving us odd looks, doesn’t everyone run in 36+ degree weather? Along the scenic waterfront of Naramata, stopping from time to time for photo-ops and to check our retinas for sweat. Finally we came to a hill, Gulch Road, like something from the movie ‘Tombstone’ this torturous excuse for a paved cartpath went straight up the clay hillside. Half expired, we briefly rested in a neighbouring orchard while Dickweasel assaulted the remaining hashers with berries. Two hours later we emerged onto Naramata Road again.

Pausing for more photo-ops at the Blossom running event start line and a bizarre stop sign we encountered another of Philthy’s right-hand markings (he swore they were all on the left) and this one was a doozy…. pointing straight up Smethurst Road. This would lead to the KVR which was good, but had an ungodly ascent to it. By this time the pack was totally strung out…. like totally, y’know… Philthy cruised by in his car and offered some water, parked, got out.. opened up his trunk and then had the temerity to mention “Oh, I don’t have any”. Once at the KVR, the much ballyhooed BeerCheck emerged from Philthy’s trunk and the beer and ice chunks were fought over. It was less than a km back along the KVR to the start and a 3% grade downhill so life was looking up. Past a lovely little stream where JustShelie went bathing, past a nifty gazebo that we decided to use as a shelter for the Circle afterwards to escape the SEARING HEAT. As mentioned the turkeys had wisely fled for cooler climates, sorry guys, hope we see you again!

Downdowns were issued as follows:
Hare Philthy: Multiple right-hand marks (not left as promised), lost the walkers, offered water he didn’t have (for shame).
HardToSwallow: Missed the initial downhill mark causing JustShelie to run uphill for miles, wore his lovely Vancouver Marathon RACE shirt, was his usual FRB self.
JustSean: Using non-hasher names.
Shunty: Had a shoe malfunction when his shoe came untied just AFTER a check. That’s so Un-Shunty-like.
Just-Shelie: Polluted Naramata’s fragile water system by dousing her cap in the stream.
GoatBag: For not assisting JustShelie in her disrobing and instead took photos.
DickWeasel: For being an FRB on the uphills!