[Philthy]We assembled in the parking lot next to the Go-Kart track: the hare (Dick Weasel), 6 eagles (Shunty, Viagroy, H2S, Long & Hard, GoatBag and Philthy) and zero turkeys (must be getting close to Thanksgiving).

It was a beautiful Fall day as we circled up and blessed the hare (who was dead) but alive with suggestions about which way to go! Off we jogged north up the other Penticton Ave. west of the Airport. After previous hashes this seemed flat straight and a little boring. The first ten minutes of tedium was only punctuated by the arrival of Stinky and Hugo (late as usual) but injected into the hash by a dead hare in a truck.

At last the first ‘check’ solved and we were off heading west into the sandy hills. The brown flour trail seemed less obvious than the large cougar tracks, but Hugo seemed unimpressed and so on we went.

We were heading into the hills perhaps to Apex! And, as we climbed the dead hare truck appeared just in time to witness the keen eagles being sent back down by a cunning ‘back check’. Philthy was so impressed with this mis-direction that he gave the one signal salute to the weasel. By now Shunty was the FRB and the beer was near….actually it wasn’t but the hare was getting thirsty and so we stopped. We drank by a big rock covered in ancient symbology: was it the face of an evil hare or some type of fertility sign? Who know’s but it did provide an opportunity for a photo….or so we thought….as we posed Viagroy managed a photo of his foot and the weasel took a photo of nothing! Fortunately the hash-flash intervened and saved the day (or the moment) as the sun was threatening to go down.

Freshly aled, we were off again. Now the hare was live (in a truck) and clearly visible (how do you pantsed a Bronco?). Only sand and cactii seemed to stand between us and the On-In. With the end in sight the Weasel arrived with golf clubs and balls. It was, perhaps, an opportunity to take out a few of the windows in the hares house, but while gravity and thin air were in our favour there was little hope of hitting anything but dirt. Balls dispatch the final descent seemed pretty straight forward apart from the barbed wire. Luckily the FRB stopped to warn everybody, but unfortunately GoatBag was deaf to the world, excited with the chance to once again display his impressive hoof like skills. The wounds looked deep and the blood flowed….and it was a day when we all discovered that the tetanus jab had been replace by alcohol.

Safely back (apart from Goatbag) we were ‘bowled’ over by Dick Weasels hospitality!

Down-Downs:

Dick Weasel - shitty trail, telling us flour markings, using chalk. A hold placed far after the top of the climb, and micro-managing the rest of our run.
Stinky - The usual not only being late for the run but also doing a partial auto-hash with help from the dead hare.
Dickweasel and Viagory - Failing to properly operate the hash flash apparatus.
Long N’ Hard - Making a Spawn-On motion with her entire body in her glee.
HardToSwallow - Also showing far too much exuberance being the FRB, dashing from front to back, to and fro after missing last week’s hash.
Philthy - giving the hare the finger
Shunty - For channeling Roscoe P. Coltrane for an instant. It was short but far too scary.

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(By JustJason) The Shiggy Dusters convened at White Lake for the first time on a fine fall day with brilliant sunshine. Shunty had promised a fun trail full of shig, and the Hashers were eager to chase him down. Unfortunately, there were no downhills during the entire hash.

After circling up, the first of several group photos was taken and the hare (Shunty) left, along with a co-hare (Pole Jockey) to lead the turkeys. After asking for 10 minutes head start, they drove around the White Lake to the Radio Observatory parking lot. While waiting, Goatbag assured the Eagles that it would only take 5 minutes or so for them to run around the mountain, down to OK Falls, and back to the start of the hash. There was a good turnout, and the pack set off in high spirits toward the large dish visible in the distant haze. Dickweasel briefly considered walking out onto White Lake, but thought better of it when no one agreed to come with him. As the 5 minutes grew into 25 minutes, the grumblings began within the pack. After crossing a muddy stream, several barbed wire fences, and half of the Okanagan Valley, we stumbled across our first mark, which promptly told us to run back the way we’d come.

The first few checks were navigated skillfully, and we proceeded mostly uphill away from the Observatory. The pack was so eager to run, however, that they failed to notice this until it was too late to change course. Goatbag tried to zen a shorter course, but returned to the pack sheepishly commenting, “I zenned the long way.” He missed the first pile of bear shierr, shig on the trail, which Shunty had cleverly disguised as a check. Several more bear checks followed, each one fresher than the last. As the trail continued upward, Philthy and Stinky became our FRBs for the day, fearlessly running ahead and deciphering Shuntys shiggy trail. The packs grumblings returned as the trail became nearly vertical.

Eventually we came out on a ridge, and could see the hare (way up there) waving to us or was he mocking our feeble attempts to catch him? The Turkeys were nearly to the beer check, so the Eagles, sucking in ever larger gasps of air in an effort to breathe, made our way up the steep cliffside toward the hare. StaresHard suffered a cactus attack just before the top, but managed to reach the beer check before collapsing. JustJason also removed several large cacti from his shoe at the helicopter pad/beer check.

At the beer check, we were treated to amazing views, beverages, and cheese buns! Prepared with care by Shunty, these hit the spot. Many photos were taken, and potential trails and hash sites were discussed from our viewpoint. Eventually we returned to the Observatory, where we piled into the back of Shuntys truck for a ride to the trailhead. PoleJockey threw his clothing out the back of the truck, causing Shunty to engage in a bit of harrowing off-road driving to retrieve it. At the circle, down-downs were given for the following reasons:

Shunty: For a hare-raising hash of epic climbs, cactus, stunning vistas with a touch of X-Files.
Goatbag: For co-hareing and causing general grief amongst the pack with their arduous warm-up to the marked trail.
StaresHard: For dropping a full beer at the start causing it to burst!
Stinky: For the thousandth time, engaging in race talk, we need to find this hasher a race sponsor.
JustMegan: As a welcome to our club.
JustJason: For coming the furthest to our hash (came up from Manning Park where he ran a competitive 50k event of some sort the day before)
Polejockey: For disrobing and nearly causing a national crisis at a federal institution when his jacket blew out the back of the truck.

After the down-downs were given, Madam Flash called Shunty back into the circle, ordered him to remove his shoe, and made him drink another down-down from it for the shitty hash he put on. Please see hash photos to view this spectacle.
Madam Flash: For beating up the hare on how hard the hash was when it was obvious that herself and JustMegan were used to weightless environments and she hardly broke a sweat on the way up to the beer check.

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