(By MoanerLisa)

Hash #70 started off from the classy Copper Mug, it was hared by Goatbag, and two brave hashers followed his tracks. GoatBag was feeling quite confident in his speedy running ability, as always, and declared that he only needed a one minute head start. Hard to swallow and moaner followed the series of excess checks (seriously there were too many!!!) and back checks through town.
H2S and moaner would have benefitted from cell phones or walkie talkies. We discovered that having only 2 hashers is hard work; when you find a check you can’t simple yell on-on, you have to run back and search for the other hasher. And zenning is not a good idea when there are only two hashers.
After an hour of hashing we were thinking that we ought to be done soon, the tracks were heading down town and we were wondering where this run would end? Moaner was hoping the run would end at Philthy’s so that we could raid his kitchen for Baileys and ice cream! The run finished at Pen high but before we could stop running, we were fooled by GoatBag’s last back check which brought us within a few meters from the finish, and then we had to turn around and run an extra 500m to finish in the exact same spot – geez how sneaky.
GoatBag ended up kicking our butts in this hash and finished 27 minutes ahead of us. H2S and moaner put in an 4k in hashing mileage.
The closing circle was indeed at Philthy’s home, but unfortunately Baileys was prohibited from the circle. GoatBag served some kind of carbonated alcoholic beverage and moaner learned that it’s not a good idea to chug carbonated drinks.

The down-down’s were given for:
GoatBag: For an excess number of checks.
Hard to Swallow: For being an over achiever and finding the majority of the checks.
Moaner: For being the hash flash and only taking one photo.

Atop Duncan Hill the group arrived in the thick blanket of fog. Spotting the hare was going to be tricky work indeed! We had a new boot in the form of JustKirstin. Starting from Stinky and Spermie’s place, Stinky the hare was sent off and shortly after the pack dispersed in various directions. Being a Stinky run the trail led upwards and wound around the various back streets of the Upper Duncan area. Soon we were heading up into the hills where the fog was even thicker. There were sand pits, hills, car wrecks and more hills. Somewhere along the way, Shunty managed to lose Hugo, the hare’s dog. Despite the snow and our expert crew of shoe trackers, Stinky managed to throw us off for several false trails including a goat track that was almost the demise of GoatBag.

It was about then that Dickweasel noticed that Sammy (his dog) had disappeared as well and the dog people (Dickweasel, Shunty and JustKirstin) turned back to solve this additional puzzle. The rest of the group plummeted down the hillside in one manner or another. From here the dirt road led out to a goatpath that clung precipitiously to the canyon wall. Carefully inching our way along we ended up on a large plateau. We glimpsed across the field the same woodcutter that we’d seen just half an hour ago and could have easily saved a heap of time if we’d gone up that way, but that’s the way of the hash. Running past all manner of the latest in expired appliances we climbed up to Carmi Road. From there it was a downhill run with one more backcheck up Saliken Drive. Shortly below at the large water cistern, Stinky and the fabled beer emerged out of the mists. Spermie and the rest of the ‘dog people’ arrived by vehicle and the pack was once reunited. After being rejuvenated with beverages the group ran/drove back to the start.

Downdowns were issued to:

The Hare, Stinky: For putting a hash on such a foggy day, steep, slippery trails, backchecks and all manner of foul deeds.
JustKirstin and Spermie: To welcome her to our fine hashing group!
JustTrotsky: For going downhill at the first Stinky check. (Stinky…? Downhill?)
MoanerLisa: For missing two marks in a row even after the R.A. chastised her the first time.
Shunty: Lost HugoTheHare’sDog plus couldn’t remember Trotsky’s name. (We forgave him the second one as we had a hard time as well)
Long N’Hard, HardToSwallow, MoanerLisa: For not calling on-on at several marks causing severe distress to Trotsky and Goatbag who were patiently waiting down below on the edge of the precipice.
Dickweasel: Lost Sammy and led Shunty and Trotsky to believe he had found a hymn check with his non-stop singing.

Merry Christmas!