Five brave hashers greeted the hare, the illustrious Goatbag, on a blustery afternoon, including two long missed compatriots. From far up the reaches of Apex came Fartacus and from deep within his kitchen came Stares Hard, or as the hare quickly dubbed him, Just Pudgy. After an extensive chalk talk the hare was on his way.

Just Pudgy set a blistering pace during the first section of trail. He also guessed unerringly the correct route. The only chance the DFLs had to catch him was when he momentarily confused himself by standing on a mark. Pudgy was soon on his way again until he was led into a dead end by a misplaced mark.

Fartacus quickly took over as FRB. Unfortunately for the DFLs, he too combined a blistering pace and a good nose for the trail. He led the pack through some lovely shig near the highway. Some of the local wildlife included garbage bag trees and dirtbikes. Tired of being dragged by Hugo Spermy gladly let him off leash He quickly joined the FRBs.

After some meandering through suburbs, the pack arrived at a baseball check. We took a short break and enjoyed the scenery. Shunty wandered off to hug some random blonde The pack then began a long slog up a minor incline that ended at a hymn check at the mall entrance. To the horror of the pack, and bystanders, Goatbag had decided to rewrite a James Taylor song. Thankfully Spermbank knew the tune.

The pack continued up a slight incline. Fartacus and Pudgy bit on a falsie (who picks the downhill route)? The trail continued up the slight incline, did I mention that the incline was slight? Soon the trail led towards the hospital and the creek and Goatbag’s patented beer check. There was also a St Patrick’s day quiz.

After down downs were handed out Fartacus lead the pack through a inspiring version of the old spiritual Swing Low Sweet Chariot.

Down downs were given to:

The hare for a somewhat shiggy trail.

Fartacus and Shunty for being eggheads and getting all the answers on the quiz.

Hard to Swallow for Standing on a check.

Just Pudgy for finally returning to hashing.

Spermbank for her wonderful singing.

Goatbag again for James Taylor, nuff said.

(penned by Philthy)

A big thanks to both: MonaLisa for conceiving the idea and GoatBag for being the substitute hare at the 11th hour.

Hashers present: Shunty, Goatbag, MonaLisa, Stinky, SpermBank, Speedstick, Long n Hard and Philthy, justMeggan, justCarrey, justCheryl, justStacey, justScott, justGerry, justEllis and many other leprechauns….

T’was 6pm when the Shiggy Dusters and curious leprechauns circled up in front of the Lakeside Resort. Shunty graciously welcomed everyone and gave a brief description of the history of hashing…. which was in danger of turning into a boring story. Then Goatbag did the chalk talk, the hare was toasted and on his way with an almost unheard of (marathon) 10min start, *GoatBag Revision* reduced to 5 minutes after some badgering.

There was much excitement, confusion and hilarity as the hashers and leprechauns set off in hot pursuit. The trail took us down streets and back alleys; through playgrounds and parking lots. Dogs barked, homeowners peered out from behind curtains, children stopped playing and vehicles swerved as hashers and leprechauns tried to make sense of it all. Arrows were missed (mainly by justEllis), the Irish hymn was murdered, and eventually we all stumbled towards the beer check which was located serenely on Marina Way.

Refreshments were served and the beer check morphed into the ON-IN where the hare was roasted and the following down downs were awarded: -

Goatbag (the hare): shitty trail

justCheryl, justScott, and justElizabeth: for talking about races and training during the hash.

justStinky: For being anti-social and going the complete wrong direction of everyone else (even though it was the proper direction)

justEllis and justJerry: For phoning each other beforehand and dressing in the same outfit.

Long ‘N Hard, justFrance, Speedstick and JustJerry: For lying down on a check.