[penned by G-Spot]
Our third Wednesday night gathering started with Just Cheryl, Spermbank, Gspot and the hare Speedstick waiting to see if anyone else would show up. After waiting a few minutes, the hash was blessed and Speedstick disappeared. The three ladies barley gave him 3 minutes before they followed his trail through Wilse school grounds and up Balsam, carefully leaving the trail marked in case latecomers arrived.

After 30 seconds Spermie and Gspot were already exhausted from the hills, but Just Cheryl continued to make them sick with her crazy hill climbing skills and cheery voice “I love hills!”. A mysterious interpretation of two ‘falsies’ was solved, and up and up and up they went, whining about the hills. Suddenly an auto hashing vehicle pulled up with a visiting Viagroy and Shunty. Shunty was so distracted while driving and saying hello to his hashing friends he nearly hit a car in front of him. Gspot had been off trying to solve a check and had been fooled as a car pulled up over top of the check made in the middle of the intersection.

The shiggy part began, and much confusion ensued as the tricky Hare placed back to back checks along the trail. Shunty, the ever-FRB, lead the way calling ‘on-on’ and then ‘checking’ as other hashers were checking the first check. Replies of ‘checking’ and ‘on-on’ continued through the triple back to back check confusion until Shunty gave up and yelled to the group “No I AM ON-ON but I’m now going to check for the third time!”

Through the trails we went, through prickles and ticks and signs that may have said ‘no trespassing’ but the group was too weary from the climb to read properly. The trail shot uphill and Just Cheryl lead the way up the steep climb, happily cheering ‘Beer Near!’ at the top before she looked up and say Speedstick digging out the stash of pre-placed beer.

Drinking and much relief followed with a circle overlooking the plentiful trails and views of town. The circle was moved to allow for more safe beer pouring and the usual songs were sung and moaning and complaining continued.

Down downs were given:
Viagroy – for returning to the group after being far, far away and for celebrating his birthday which such a bad choice of company. Happy Birthday (hasher version) was sung poorly.
Speedstick – for killing us on hills, confusing us with double falsie back check xx and many back-to-back checks
Shunty – for being a dangerous attention deficit distractible auto hasher and nearly hitting another car
Just Cheryl – For being nice and motherly and looking after everyone.
G Spot – for demonstrating the domestic relationship to the hare for scolding him on his check placement and rule breaking

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Our second Wednesday night hash and the usual band of suspects assembled alongside the kiddie park down by Skaha Lake. Hard2Swallow was our lame hare and was going to bash (bike-hash) to alleviate his aching limbs. He sent us around the far side of the boathouse so we couldn’t see him be devious and he fled. The delay gave us time for Speedstick and G-Spot to show up and we had another photo-op in the Water Park.

Once on our way the dastardly hare left no doubt as to where the trail would lead. It lead UP. Crescent Hill road is one of the steepest routes in town and we crawled our way up to the top. Once there we encountered our first back-check that fooled everyone. Back on route, we enjoyed a lovely jaunt past the orchards. Cruising back down we encountered our second back-check, were disappointed when the hash didn’t end at Shunty’s place and then climbed again off the end of Dartmouth Drive. Long ‘N Hard had been busy being an FRB and buzzing here and there and finally the pack caught up to her. Down into the Industrial area where Goatbag correctly guessed the beercheck location and did a bit of a zen. The beer check was fashionably situated behind the packing shed. The hare was already there and refreshments were dispersed. After everyone was lubricated the circle was formed.

Down downs were issued to:
H2S (hare) - for hills, hills and more hills.
Long ‘N Hard - for not checking far enough at the top of the hill.
Stinky - for falling for not one, but TWO back-checks and missing the full can of beer at the second one. (It was right beside the back-check, how cunning)
Shunty & Speedstick - One of them called a hasher by their non-hasher name but neither would own up to saying it so both were punished.
JustGarth - For not paying for his beer at the last Hash.
G-Spot- For being kind and staying with Spermbank even though Spermie wasn’t feeling well and really wanted her to leave.
Goatbag - No idea…

Afterwards we headed back to the start and then off to Anthony’s for food and more refreshments. And once again, they lived happily ever after.

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