Recently recovered from our own national confederation holiday, the Shiggydusters gathered on top of Carmi Mountain to celebrate our neighbour to the south’s holiday. No, not Vaseaux Lake, America! As bizarre as this sounds, it was orginally Speedstick the American who was to hare, but he got urgently called away on some top-secret state mission. Stinky valiantly stepped up to take over and lead this rabble over hill and vale.
The mob this Sunday had a few new faces with JustVikki and JustLeslie joining us for the first time. After random musings about hasher symbology, the sacred passing out of the sealed envelopes, and most importantly, the blessing of the hare(s)…. G-Spot got included as she was excluded last week. Stinky was last seen carrying JustHugo over the cattleguard and then he disappeared into the darkening gloom of Carmi Forest. Approximately 6:45 minutes later the pack ambled afterward and the trees were alive with the sounds of hashers. Leading upwards and around, and down, this twisty technical single-track had numerous crossings and checks to slow the FRB’s who seemed even more FR than usual. JustStan was vying with Insatiable for ‘Most Likely to reach the Beer Check before the Hare’.
Our first main check was a trivia check about American trivia. This produced much consternation despite the fact that Canadians are much more informed about Americans then their neighbours thanks to cable TV. More windy trails and back-checks and we encountered the ‘SuperSizeMe’ check, another trivia check about various Americana. From there we actually encountered some lovely downhill… followed by more exciting downhill and just as we were hitting all-out sprint, we hit the back-check. The correct trail led off down the side and crossed Carmi Road, giving us lovely views of Ellis Creek Canyon. The biggest Big Rock we’d seen to date was found, surprisingly by the ‘Big Rock’ check and everyone who wasn’t JustStan posed for a group photo. Several group photos later we heard a wolf call, and the beer check was seen far below, with JustStan and several other shady individuals lurking around. Arriving there we also found Stinky, Spermie (who wisely chose the turkey trail) and Shunty, who apparently ran somewhere, but we aren’t sure where. Refreshing beverages were dispersed, views were again reviewed and finally we started the long hike back up to the parking lot where the circle was formed.
Downdowns were issued to the following undesirables:
Stinky - Wretched hare who took us over dangerous rock strewn ground, booby-trapped ramps, narrow bridges, confusing us with evil quizzes and finally sticking a beer check beside the chasm of death.
G-Spot - For promoting Ironman merchandise during a hash, for shame!
Mantracker - For calling Insatiable by her non-hasher name and pouting about her own hasher name.
JustLeslie - For leading the pack into a long downhill backcheck (note.. both JustLeslie and JustVikki were called up for a ‘welcome to the hash’ downdown)
JustStan - For being too studly-fast to actually wait at the Big Rock for the Big Rock group photo. Doesn’t he know our traditions?
Philthy - For wearing British colours after his team already had been eliminated from the World Cup (yesterday’s news)
Long ‘N Hard - For managing to avoid all the mud on the trail and instead fell in horse/cow manure.
GoatBag - For disregarding the red/white/blue/stars/stripes attire memoranda and instead showed up dressed as Governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger. (JustArnie to friends)
A rousing and boisterous vote was held and it was determined that JustStan would be the next Hash-Shit Bearer, hopefully to slow him down. In the tradition of MoanerLisa, JustStan quickly announced that he’d be gone for three weeks.
On-on!
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