February 14th marks the anniversary of many historical events: the 1929 St. Valentine’s Day Massacre, the 1949 Asbestos Strike which ushered in Quebec’s Quiet Revolution, Horatio Nelson’s victory in the Battle of St. Vincent in 1797, and of course the birth of Florence Henderson. It also marked the Shiggy Duster’s first improbable mission hash. Would they catch the hare? Lose the Olympic Frisbee of Love (OFL)? Or sail away on the Love Boat?
Our hare, and secret agent of love, Goatbag gave a quick chalk talk, handed out hymns and a mysterious ancient Mayan device known as a “kah-set-pla-yer”. He then, confusingly, asked for a two minute head start and instructed us to listen to the recording “in four minutes.” Two minutes later the pack heard “Charlie” tell them to heed the secret instructions once the appropriately marked check was reached.
The pack set off in pursuit but that quickly came to a halt while Pole Jockey climbed onto a building’s roof to retrieve Shunty’s errant OFL throw. Once back on trail, Pole Jockey unerringly nosed out the trail, aided occasionally by the directions of friendly townsfolk. It soon became obvious that the light spring breeze was making it difficult to throw the OFL with any accuracy. This did not prevent Hard To Swallow from trying.
The trail meandered through the down town side streets until the pack reached a big H check by the big peach. They assumed that this meant hymn check and entertained passers-by with a beautiful hymn set to the tune of the Love Boat theme. Unfortunately the very next check proved to be the actual hymn check so the pack listened to the soundtrack “Charlie” had provided and enjoyed the view on the end of the romantic pier.
The trail led past the art gallery and Philty’s house. Unfortunately no beer or curry was provided. Instead the pack climbed up Vancouver hill where they ran into a smiling Mudhoney (remember her?) who was returning from a morning’s biking. She agreed to join the rest of the hash on her bike and even solved a check or two.
The pack bit on a dreadful back check up a long flight of stairs though it should be noted that had virgin hasher JustMegan been a little bit faster she could have prevented the detour as she had been on the correct trail. The correct trail soon ended at a beer check at the track. Along with beer and candy, the hare also had a multiple choice Valentine Day quiz. We discovered that Hart wrote the lyrics to “My Funny Valentine” (Chet Baker’s version is the gold standard). We also discovered that Pole Jockey can cover 8 feet in one big step and a little faster than Speed Stick can run it.
Down downs were awarded to:
Goatbag for a shiggy trail, a clever quiz, and some too short short-shorts.
Speed Stick for talking about some competitive event he had attended.
Hard To Swallow for playing with himself. (A little too eager with the OFL)
JustMegan for her virgin hash.
Pole Jockey for his long zen off trail.
Mudhoney for taking her time solving checks even though she was on a bike.
Finally JustTina was awarded her hashing name. On her virgin hash, fellow hashsers noted her uncanny ability to track the male hare. In honour of her tracking skills JustTina was dubbed Mantracker. Welcome Mantracker!
Finally, finally… Hard To Swallow won the quiz (and a box of chocolates which he gave to his wife) with six correct answers. And it only cost him 5$ and a “favour” to the hare.
Finally, finally finally…the Olympic Frisbee of Love’s finally stats were:
13 – 85
125 yards
0 hashers hit in the face
1 building interception
1 car interception
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Just for the record, I didn’t mention a 4 minute head start, that was someone else. Heck, if I’d known about Shunty’s throwing skills I would have gone for the sub one-minute start and probably watched for the first half of it.