So… I used to work in Chicago…. but then I found out there was a hash going on Sunday afternoon. Showing up at the Kettle Valley Station the usual assortment of miscreants were gathered around. And as always, everyone but the hare, which this week was Spermbank. Eventually she blew into the parking lot in a cloud of flour and we got underway. There would be three, no two, no three hymn checks, and Trivia! We think. After giving her a modest lead we sauntered off in hot pursuit.
Not long after starting we came to the first Hymn Check behind the Events Center. Our hymn was ‘I used to work in Chicago’ with about 15 verses that we somehow managed to screw up everytime. Off we went again and ended up doing our best ‘Chariots of Fire’ imitations along Okanagan Beach. Hymn check #3 was behind the Sicamous and yes, it was another chartbuster from those folks in Chicago. The next check led across the channel and it was at this point we lost HardToSwallow who was either bitter about his past employment in the Windy City or disoriented as he walked south.
The rest of the group entered what is known as ‘The Senior Zone’. An adult complex where everything looks the same and there appears to be no exit. After 15 very long, scary minutes we emerged on the other side nearly losing life and limb crossing the highway.
The hare was definitely feeling energetic as the trail led upwards onto the KVR trail. We realized this might take awhile so Shunty quickly started gathering spare sammiches lying on the ground and Long ‘N Hard began entertaining herself by playing with balls, big and small, the Queen of Balls. Eventually we climbed up onto a bridge and then down the other side back on the KVR. Strange. No marks seemed to lead any further along. We were almost convinced that we’d been running this backwards until Stinky casually mentioned that he could see the Beer Check from here (looking at the water cistern perched on the mountain high above us). The pack reformed ranks and being true to style, half the pack zenned and half the pack followed the hare’s trail.
After arriving at the Beer Check, the Zenners enjoyed a 20 minute relaxing sit in the sun watching the other group (who looked like ant specks) climb up the hill. Eventually, everyone got back together and trivia sheets were dispersed. The questions had a KVR theme which puzzled most, especially after the beer. Finally, everything answered and cacti removed from various body parts we turned and headed back pub-ward where Spermie (and HardToSwallow) awaited.
Downdowns were handed out to:
Spermie the Hare – For taking us to the top of a mountain for a beer check, trying to get us lost in a seniors complex, and giving us yet another tune we can’t get out of our head.
Shunty – For a grandmaster of the PH3, he almost managed to call everyone by their non-hashing names. In particular, he was obsessed with ManTracker’s proper name. Hopefully this will be a passing thing.
ManTracker – For showing true FRB style by blowing past a hasher mark on the bridge. We suggest a remedial walking course as penance.
JustKirsten – Another FRB aligned with ManTracker, she nearly led the pack across the busy highway to their doom with her AWESOME burst of speed that noone could hope to match. Made me a bit nostalgic about my tender years playing Frogger in the arcade.
Stinky – For not zenning to the beer and instead leading half the pack on an extra 20 minute excursion following his spouse’s (hare) trail.
Long ‘N Hard – For being unable to write her name (Long ‘N Rode?) on the top of the trivia sheet.
JustKirsten won the trivia contest and everyone lived happily after, but not in Chicago.
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